look into me with your newborn eyes

2007-10-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

gosh! I felt as though i nv update my blog for a decades.
nvm. time files.
i didnt have a good head start. amath paper sorta crush my already weaken confident into bits and bits. but i gotta pick myself up. so what if i flunk my amath. gosh, i still hav other subjects while i think i can still excel in.
NO TIME NO TIME NO TIME!

i'm leaving secondary school soon!!

2007-10-09T17:57:00.000-07:00

GOSH! i feel like crying when i read everyone's blog. their songs are way too emo...
life sucks to the core nowadays. i just cant seem to brush "the number of days to my o lvl" off my mind. it's worse than some kinda disease that invade you. i dreamt of studying, the moment i woke up i went to school to study. seriously i'm in the momentum but is it gonna do me any help.
yiling told me, my greatest enermy is not having enough confident.
well, i agreed!
so how do i gain confident from the next 12 days?
confident pls come back to me.

broke down in front of mum ytd, i just cant suppress it anymore.
the way her expression took a drastic turn, from pleasant to shock.
there i go, asking stupid questions again
"mum, can i always cry in front of you when i dun feel good?"
then i continue
"eh! you long time nv see me cry liao right"
haha! i love mum!

i'm gonna do well for my o lvl, one chance and i'll make sure i give my best shot. weather or not my confident is gonna cum back as long as i see light on my path i'll go for it.
DADDY! I'LL MAKE SURE I SLAM MY RESULT SLIP RIGHT INTO YOUR FACE!!!!

2007-09-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

You were the only face I'd ever known.
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,and only as bright as you wanted me to be.
But, I am no gentleman, I can be a prick,
and I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had is no longer there.

It was the only place I'd never known.
Turned off the light on my way out the door.
I will be watching wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had is no longer there, longer there.

You saw for yourself, the way it played out.
For you, I am blinded.
For you, I am blinded,
for you.I am no gentleman, I can be a prick.
And I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exists.

Everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had.
Everything we had,
everything we had,
everything we had...
I'll be with you wherever you go,through the eyes of a fly on the wall.

2007-09-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

yo~
it's been a long time since i last blog.
alright. talk about prelim.
doubt i'm gonna do well, amath paper is gonna be way up in the express way. buang until don't how to buang.
it's so damn difficult though the question looks kinda simple.
i'm screw up badly. told mum i'm gonna do badly, cause all the bad things happened to me at this moment of time. kinda pull down my morale.
nvm! i'm gonna do well in o'lvl. its berating.

alright talk about ytd~
was meeting mum at sembawang mrt station.
buddy sent me there. mum didnt saw him but i told her about him.
tonnes and millions of unanswered question came rushing down to me.
i don't wanna hide things anymore. the feelings is so terrible deep down inside. however, mum take it quite easily, she's not gonna tell dad about it.
but i woulden mind if she tells dad about. i'm prepared for the worse.
god bless.
shop around bugis, nth aint fresh, but the new food junction at parco got me fallen from head over heels. gosh! so big and the food was quite nice lah.
saw helen, twins and apple. stupid helen slap my hair, messed up seh!
shop shop around, didnt catch any sign of ds and geri. fool and play around with mum.
GOSH! I WANNA DIET!. went to try a dress, i love it soooooooooooo much. i realli love it so much. but mum say i'm too fat, not nice.
then went to try a collar tee. the same problem occur!
frustarted loh.
kkz! goin out soon.

2007-09-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

gosh! i nv wanna take pictures again!
why am i nv bless with a photogenic face like other ppl.
the more i look at my own pictures, the more i get irritated, the more i start to hate it!

its 12.30nm now. i cant sleep cause i'm wide awake.
that's the result of excessive chinese tea in comsume.
did some speed reading on china (AND I HATE IT TO CORE)
nvm, at least i get an overview of what the chapter is abt.
called kc up just now, chat with him on the phone.
once the tml's paper is over, i can get a huge loath off my mind.
chatting with ah huat now!
he and crystal is forever so sweet. =)

i'm turning in!

2007-09-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

alright.
gosh. prelim is coming.
i don't know why, but i'm falling ill soon.
sore-throat and headaches. nvm. i feel this way 2 times every year.
to everyone taking exams.
GOOD LUCK GUYS!

2007-09-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

gosh! it's 4.12am now.
i cant go to sleep, my stomach is cramping like hell.
why must girl suffer all these crap. ARGH!!!
I'M SO SLEEPY BUT YET I CANT GO TO SLEEP.
the pain is killing me!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

seems like..
all my family member is falling ill.
i just sincerely wish that illness don't revolve around my family member.
i love them dearly, pls don't take anyone of them away. i dont want to be left alone.

hang on, siewlin. when all else fall, you still hav urself as a major source of support.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY.
wong lao shi gave me a big hug today. she's so cute.
ella gave me a big hug too! work hard sweety, i know you can do it.
the concert was nice...realli nice.
after school, kc walk me home. i didnt bring my keys home.
shouted for uncle but no one answer. i should have stay for awhile, he's at home, but i didnt....i should hav....
look up for kc. went for lunch and breakfast.
met soooo many ppl, i'm lazy to mention. basically its all kc's friend. i have none. haha!
fool around with him, bully him! i'm attacking his ass now! improving...
after that, reach hm and went out with mum again.
saw crystal and i want mum to take a look at crystal, coz she's so sweet.
so grab mum by the hand and ran...HAHAHA!!! SHE FELL DOWN!
i was laughing like hell man! laughing so hard, my stomach hurts like hell.

today seems so short.
i love his company. something i don't dare to wish for and i don't want to think of it more. cause one day i must put a crucial full stop to it myself. if time can stop, i dearly wish so. it's getting harder and harder for me to turn back even if i stand there motionlessly.Can someone tell me. just one word. am i in the right or wrong?

2007-08-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

I’m not the easiest person to love
I’m often the one who let things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Yeah you choose to be on the side of me
On the side of me

I’m not too proud of doing some things
I’ve done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Blessed Charity
You’re on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it’s cold outside
And there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
But you

I’m not the easiest person to love
But you, you’ve opened your heart to show me what I’m worth
‘Cause you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
What a mystery
You’re on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it’s cold outside
And there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you
Yeah you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me

2007-08-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

work it harder,
make it better.
do it faster,
makes me stronger.

2007-08-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

I LOVE CORRINNE MAY.

a real local talent who had yet been fully develop.
she can really sing well, went to her official web, fall in i love with her first hit "beautiful seed" immediately.
she got really realli nice voice.
so guys, try listen to her song. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

didnt attend choice today.
went home immediately, went out with daddy, mummy and sis to pray and do offerings to our late ah gong and ah ma.
dad told us a story. i know he is trying to send us a message.
alright. i'll try to do it in future.
Dine in siamese resturant at tanjong pajah.
the food was delicious and their service was excellent.
daddy tried to play a joke on me! haha. i got real panic loh.
when he bill comes, he pretend to walk away, leaving me staring at the waitress blankly. sms kc all the way until i reach hm.
almost ended up in a small conflict again but he ceased the fire. HOHO!

2007-08-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

i hate going to sleep with trouble in my mind.
my blood is boiling like mad, conflicts and arguement never end.
however, the fault lies in me.

i love the song freshly uploaded in my blog.
it left me shaken the moment they broadcast this song on the radio.
good song is like falling in love.
how long will the spark and power in this song last....
sooner or later, new songs will hit the town, and the old ones will get out cast.

prelim is not right at the corner but in front of us.
i want to ripe the old thinking off my mind, tried a totally different strategy. dont know if i'm putting myself at risk. will it backfire?
talk to dad about my phobia in lab. "take it easy, the same amount of time is given to everyone, if they can do it, so can you"
"throw in everything you'hv learn"

hope luck is by my side, no amount of words can express my fear.
i just pray hard that everything goes right on tuesday.

LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

2007-08-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

I LOVE READER'S DIGEST!!!

read it and i never fail to learn new things from it.
hope dajie recover soon. she have alot of "SHITTING" problem.
gear myself up, consequences would be terrifying if i dont put in effort in my studies.
kept PMS-ING these few days, kc suffered alot.
emotion and physical abused by me.
thanks god. he's right by my side.
i must try my best to get over the tremble i face when i'm in the lab.
somehow, i lost the ability to think. i wouldnt think straight, except for the sentense which never fail to resound in my head. "time is running out , time is running out", "do it faster, do it faster"
my hand was tremble vigourously, i cant find my point and i cant draw a proper straight line.
i never felt this way before, NEVER! for my entire 17 years of life.
and i indeed hate this feeling very much.
i wonder how am i gonna pour the chemical into my test-tube.
LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

2007-08-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

FIRST OF ALL!
congrats to alicia.
the feeling of accomplishment and not obligation is sweet isnt it!
i told you, you can do it and you'hv make it!
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!

this week passes by in the speed of light.
zoom! so fast i thought there's only 4days in a week,
haha!
after sch. chill out with geri, kc and ds.
watch rush hour 3.

2007-08-14T02:53:00.000-07:00

it goes like this

me: mum, i'hv gotten my chinese result.
mum:how was it??
me: i'hv got a B3
mum: i thought you tell me you'll get an A
me: AIYA! accident will happened de ma!

seriously, i'm disenchanted. i was utterly dissapointed by my result and maybe my over-complacent attitube.
kept telling my classmate, "nvm one lah! retake loh"
"i'm confident i'll get an A if i retake" this is what i told my classmate.
in the mist of recollection, i'm starting to doubt, do i realli possessed the quality or am i just putting a false hope on myself.
this time round, i'm lucky.
i fell and i was given a chance to pick myself up again.
if the same thing was to happened to my other subjects.
HOLY CRAP, WHOSE GONNA GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE AGAIN.
i'm worried, seriously worried.
but i'm not gonna let this stupid grade pull my moral down.
SAVE ME FROM ME, i'm the only one who can pull myself up from the bottomless pit of dissapointment.

PIQUED OF ANGER.

2007-08-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

saturday

woke up quite late this morning.
did my usual routine and around 2pm alicia msg me.
i got quite worried by her sudden approach, thought something bad happened to her.
so we decided to meet at 3pm.
thanks kc for making the effort to come out, just to walk me to cwp.
met alicia and we ahd some coffee talks! haha.
enjoy it, just idle around, eating my ice cream waffle and making up small chat.
she walk me home after that. thanks!
mum took us out today, she took me and my sis to a chinese doctor, i got really serious sweaty palms problem. wasnt much of a big deal, just a lil bit disgusting.
reach hm around 10pm. dined outside.
called kc up on the phone, chat for around 2hrs hang up the phone at around 12.45nm. he went out for a mahjong session with sam they all.

- the fun and laughter, caring and concern are part of the mating games, calculated to creat a sense of euphoria. BUT EUPHORIA DOESNT LAST.
teen year are years of experimentation.
teen relationships almost never survive.

maybe this is what we see, if we take one step back and view it as a general. many people fail to do that, cause we are equally blinded by the excitement and pleasure. "euphoria doesnt last" so harsh but so true.

2007-08-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

friday

was like wake up at 9.30am.
bath and got ready to meet kc for the movie.
wait for him near the bus stop and one guy approach me.
i feel very very irritated when guy behave like that.
TA MA DE! spoilt wo de mood ar!

kc was late, due to some legal problem.
eh! i told you many times not to do it right. see lah, here comes the problem. some ppl just have to learn it the hard way!
went to osmose to get my top! i'm so so happy!!
make our way to the cathay. chit chat and played his psp.
god! i'm a geek when comes to playing games,
kc was laughing at me throughout the whole journey.

brought our tickets to the secret.
we had our lunch at billy bombers. damn expensive loh!
but the ice cream was so damn nice lah!
the secret wasnt realli that nice lah, kinda so out of reach.
this kinda thing don't happened in reality.
after the movie, from ps we walk to orchard.
went poll and bear to buy a shirt for his friend as a birthday gift.
btw! happi birthday eechong!
shop around and we're done for the day.

getting him a wallet, a tee and that adidas thingy soon!

fought with him over some trivial thing ytd night, it's my fault.
i won't apologize. cause things like that is gonna happened again, its the matter of time, you see.

2007-08-09T05:02:00.000-07:00

STEADY HANDS, JUST TAKE THE WHEEL.
EVERY GLANCES IS KILLING ME.

STOP AND STARE,
I THOUGHT I'M MOVING BUT I GOT NOWHERE.
STOP AND STARE,
YOU START TO WONDER WHY YOU'RE HERE NOT THERE.

STEADY FEETS, DON'T FAIL ME NOW.
GONNA RUN TILL YOU WALK

SOMETHING PULL MY FOCUS OUT....

woke up to a brand new day,
the air is fresh, everything is nice and clear.
things tend to flip so drastically,
the wind that blows against the wave, collision is everywhere.
just like you and me.

2007-08-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

DAJIE,
so happy to see you smile once again in your pic, but lets hope that what i see is realli what i see, nth more than meets the eyes behind it.
no matter what you do, choose what that really bring happiness.
you taught me one thing, i'll always rmb it.
the journey is where you find your life, happiness, sorrow, bitter and sour.
yeps. pick up the phone. what meant to be will be.
just bear this in mind, whenever you've lost your bearing.
" your life is not just your life, it comprises kinship, friendship and love"
hey! you cant break down before me lah. i'm selfish like hell loh.
whose gonna help me up if i fall one day!

ALICIA,
thanks for bringing my stuff to me! thanks alot. its so heavy man.
just wanna tell you. i know you're sad abt what he did to you that day. but this is him, this is what that makes him. " love him. love him as a whole. love his every single thing" thats what you tell me.
i know it's always easy when i'm sitting here saying things and not the one in the situation. However, no matter what you do, me and geri will be right beside you.

hey! its funny.
i never thought i'll do stuff like that. amusement is annoying.
btw, to that guys who msg me saying all those crazy stuff.
"i'm full of hatred, i don't feel anything"
i guess dajie knows that person pretty well.
but, his every single words betray him completely, he eats up his own words. its full of anger but it's pure.
"who i am hates who i'hv been" what a beautiful song by relient k.
just in case he passby, but i think it will nv happened.
i guess he would be saying this " for fcuk sake, you don't know a single thing abt me"

LIFE IS LIKE THAT, CANT EXPECT EVERYTHING TO GO SMOOTHLY.

2007-08-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

woke up feeling painful somewhere...
told mum about it and she wants me to stay at home.
do as what she said, went to sleep.
dreamt of something wonderful, dont feel like waking up at all.
sms dajie at around 9am, she called me during recess.
had a chat with her, alicia and kc.

feeling incensed is just not the way.
for those who knows what i'm talking about.
for her
i won't offer any consolation, for i knew that she will finally strengthen her thought.
every drops of tears she shed is lifting her up.
for what i believe.
i'll be standing right beside you.

2007-07-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

i'm dead beat.
so wear out....
i love school nowadays, so fun cracking jokes with all the friends around me.
after sch, walk to cwp with kc to get elaine's birthday presents!
i'm insane in the membrane when i see clothes. OH SHIT!
beside cultivating higher self-esteem, i must work on my self tolerants also. ENOUGH OF CLOTHES!

saw dajie and mk, so we hang around cwp with them, went over to pasta mania (AGAIN!, IS THIS A KIND OF CURSE OR SOMETHING?)
after meal, went over to cold storage to get my yoghurt!
kc realli hates it lah! boys will be boys! HAHAHA!

after that he walk me hm, fool around as usual and forget my stuff as usual! dajie came over my house after a short while. studying was just an excuses.w were chatting all along!
kkz! end of the post!

2007-07-26T07:45:00.001-07:00

i have learn so many things, shed so many tears.
but i know all these tear will not be wasted. i want to make great achievement in my life. I SWEAR.
i'm gonna study like a machine these 2 months.
i MUST shed tears of joy when i recieve my o lvl result next year.

miss dajie alot and i'm so proud of alicia.
she have the gut to walk up to the stage and delicate a speech to her mother, i'm really proud of you.

read dajie's blog. i realli realli miss those days back in the chalet.
cried and drunk so heavily!
this year. i'll cried too! i'm sure. LOVE ALICIA & GERI!

kc walk me home today.
finally, we had a heart to heart chat. i gotta say sorry.
i was being so inconsiderate. playing with guys in front of you. didnt spare a thought for you at all. thanks for being by my side, but i dunno when am i gonna go crazy again.
=))

2007-07-20T17:16:00.001-07:00

friday.

i was late for school. it's racial harmony day, everyone was well dress.
i'm very forgetfully, but this time round i'm way out of line.
i actually lefted my hp underneath my table, i only realise it when i reach hm. quickly phone kc up and he rushed to the sch ot retreived my phone back. THANKS GOD AND THANKS HIM!
meet up with him and we're off to orchard to met elaine, mz, dajie and mk.
scream in shock in the ladies when dajie arrived without hinting me!
kc and mk wore the same shirt. seriously, i didnt know mk has it.
anyway! me and dajie come from the same planet, that's the only conclusion i can make.
saw wanzhen at far east when one girl trip and fall out the stairs. SO MALU! me and dajie turn the other round and laugh, (so nasty)
then the same things happens to me at GAP, luckily kc was quick lah, if not....
he kept laughing at me lah! retribution he said.
alicia and mango tea arrived. and we went to food republic for lunch.
on and on and on! its time for us to go hm.
dajie and mk left at ad.
guess its time for me to stop being keeping things, pour our some to kc.
tell him that i'm fine and he dun have to worry abt me.

aunt came! she make jelly for us. so damn nice lah. but she said" haiyo! how come you so fat now" you cannot eat jelly liao lah!
what a wet blacket! anyway she introduced us to a fine buffet resturant at novena. its 40++ per person (SIAO AR! SO EX)
meeting kc today for movie, elaine and eechong is coming along!
i wanna force him to watch no vacancy!

2007-07-18T04:04:00.000-07:00

guess it's time for me to put a stop to all my small girl's wildness.
though many things does happened,
but i do cherish her, the same old thing happens all the time.
i'm not angry neither am i slipping away from you.
lets use our ancient method to solve it, SPEAK UP.
someone has to make the move, this time i took the first step.
she's always the one making the initial moves.

"are you happy?" mum asked me ytd when i told her what happened between me and my best friend.
my heart is really bleeding, i had no idea what had taken over me, but whenever somethings happened, i'll push it aside, refused to open up to anyone.
i grew tired, there's so much i want to make the tears flow. but there's nothing in the end.
i know there's more to face, i want to learn to grow up.

today, simply took the courage, walk towards her and talk to her.
she cried, it really pains me. i didnt know just a simple hug, can resolve everything.
thinking back, why am i behaving like that. why am i so heartless.
i don't want to apologize, the same thing will happen, but this time round, i want to learn how to face and solve the problem.
you need time to change, i need time to learn how to take initiative.
it's hard for me say what i feel,
it's like a door without knot, locker without keys, flower without buds(HAHA!)
i know sometimes, regarding certain things and conflict, i have to take immediate actions.
weather or not, it depends on me. but i simply turn a blind eyes on it.
i'm tired... really really tired.
The journey is long, i cant afford to rest.

2007-07-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

i smiled
that's what he scolded me
"don't make me call you a mother fucker,
bitch, you can fucking go to hell, why don't you just fucked off"
he throw all those words into my face, it's harsh.
i just laugh it off, it's bleeding so bad, i feel nothing at all.
maybe this is what inevitable really means,
when nothing can hurt you no more.
i'm calm those days...
my heart no longer beat like the crashing waves.

2007-07-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

the second day of the week.
how many days to o'lvl? i'hv got no idea.
everyone is feeling sad today.
yiling cried when doin a.math, get a shock out of my life.
but she refused to tell me, tears kept flowing down when she starts talking.
its reali sour somewhere in the heart to see her liktat.
during recess, talk to fadhil about his stuff. alright, he really love crystal.
his eyes got wet and red when he talk about what happened.
after that dajie, alicia come to class. talk about boobs! haha!
had a bad bad fought with sean. i feel sad abt it, cause his the one that makes me laugh.
liana sms me, OMG! i was so shock.
thought we would be chatting for a while but who knows. we exchange msges for almost an hour.
finally get to know this girl well,
after chatting, she realli surprises me. elaine is lucky.
went down to checkpoint to get my black skinny!
alter my black skinny and fleshimp collar tee.
daddy would be coming back tml. he still owns me a gift!
tml is my chinese oral

can someone pls give me some comments
should i buy a fox tank top (19 bucks)and DP spag (23bucks)
or should i just buy a future state ilky collar tee(49 bucks)

2007-07-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

i'hv made the move.
actions speaks louder than words, i have to answer to my own behaviour and bad habits.
decided to shift my seat, i'm sitting next to viki now, don't wanna disrupt the rest from studying.
At the same time, trying my very best to concentration on what i'm weak in.
Cause in the end, i can blame no one but myself.
i'm laying out something crazy as i seat day-dreaming during history lesson.
however, once i impliment it.
no doubt about how adversly it would affect my life.

i'm running a life marathon now, currently for 17years, looking back at those scar that marks the importance of my life. Running side by side with me are all my friends. no one is waiting for anyone, no one is slowing down for anyone.

2007-07-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

hey everybody!
its bloggin time....
went shopping and movie with kc ytd.
he brought me a topshop shoe! thanks alot.
and dajie brought me a emphasis's slipper! i love it lots.
alicia and elaine brought me a clutch! i love it lots also.

today!
went down to cityhall to meet up with dajie, alicia, ph, wy and elaine.
after which we go our seperate ways.
the three of us make our way down to orchard!
snap pics as usual! cant help laughing wildly at alicia's face!
dajie pitch my fats. SO PAINFUL!
i felt as though i'm goin to die! its blue black now. thanks alot! haha!
the wantan mee is nice. but the pearl in the bubble tea...wapiang eh.
i dunno how to descride.
joke of the day!
miss boli....hahaha! i think that person noes who i'm refering too.
and the snowboarding queen who nv hit the highest record! i think that person noes who she is also!
hahaha!!!
thats abt it!
=))

btw the answer is => I LOVE MY SISTERS!

2007-07-03T03:49:00.000-07:00

lets talk abt today...

tied my hair to sch today, i feel so uncomfortable!

i'm late for sch again.

recess with mk not around.

geri misses him loads, i loves the way she kick the cats

i loves my friends.

alicia is putting in effort in everything, i love the way she works today.

yiling is so patient, i likes the way she talks

puayhua and meizhen brought mi present.

fadhil almost cried, i like talking to sean.

naris is fun.

teacher neo desheng is a great teacher

mr toh kah chee is slipping away from me.

i wanna mit jeremy.

i miss daddy.

i heard words from my friend's mouth,
i knew how he rate me.
i saw the label he wrote about me,
i know soon he will HATE me.

2007-06-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

these two idiots!.......I JUST LOVES THEM

weather if you are blue or not, or if i am angry and dissapointed or not, no matter how often we fight, you're still my greatest sister.

he look so freaking scary with the curry puff in his mouth!

didnt blog for many days

but life was great so far, many things happened.

hey! now i loves goin to sch the most.

lesson was boring, but those bunch of dudes and sister were so fun.

always laugh and joke around with them in sch, during recess and after sch.

BTW! marina bay is a great place to emo!

2007-06-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

didnt blog those few days.
but many things happened, just a few days but it feels like months.
in the mist of recollection, it still left my heart shaken.

13/6/2007 12.45 - 1pm. the day, the moment to be imprint somewhere at the bottom of my heart, never erased. life is so fragile, treasure it.

talk to dad, he;s the only one who understand me, tell him how painful it is to kept thinking about it, but i didnt shed a single tears.
he's face, the way he behave were all craved inside me, played like a soundless tape inside my brain every single night.
Guess daddy is the only one who feel what i feel.

lets talk about ytd! it was great. dajie come to my house in the morning.
as usual, we crap and took pics.
just wanna say thanks to dajie! went off to meet ds, mk and yc.
as usual do craps in the train with yichong. brought the shoes for dajie's birthday, next would be for alicia. she said she wants the shorts from river island.i'll prepare for it!
set off to sch for bbq. its was fun lah. shiya was crapping and weijun just give me hell. had a long chat with crystal. erm...she's a miss perfectionist. she wants everything to be good in every aspect of life.
enjoy talking to her. played games and took pics. kc sent me home.
thank you very much!!

btw. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! gonna dine in siam kitchen today! yummy!

2007-06-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

ok guys! this belt is realli cool right! it makes me fall from head over heel. but it cost a bomb, propably 70 bucks to 90bucks. however, one prices for one exchange of unique style.

alright! basically, did some research on levis and swatch analog watches. spotted one realli cool levis analog watches and 2 swatch watches. but dad said those watch are made to fool teenagers like us just to purchase it. those material and stuff just dun worth the prices they are selling.

what realli pissed me off was this sentense " you veri old-fashion eh, i dun even wanna take a second look over this watches" ARGH!!!

anyway, dig out my courage, apologize to that person, whom i angered. those few words were tongue burning .

going shopping with elaine soon, having wedding dinner tonight, bbq on sat. LOOKING FORWARDS

2007-06-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

ytd was a great day. woke up really early cause all the relative will be coming over for some sort of celebration.
uncle arrived first as he order roasted pig to be send to my house. while waiting, we kept talking and talking. this is the first time we had such a long conversation.
once the huge roasted pig arrived, he left as he gotta go pick his wife, andrew and austin up.
antoney and his fiance arrived. they did some chinese traditional stuff as they're tie-ing the knot on tuesday. while the celebration began, andrew hand me a DC. so i recorded the whole process. its was fun lah.

after that, sat down and kept talking to andrew, he kept telling all kinda indie rock stuff while i shared my hard rock and punk rock stuff with him. i'm not really into indie rock, but the band he introduced to me was great man! it's realli a nice band.
crap and joke with the rest of my cousin and soon after that they left.
heng ar!! they did the cleaning up before they left.

2007-06-09T04:46:00.000-07:00

ok. its crazy. the gathering was totally OUT OF CONTROL!
had emath tuition in the morning. me and cia tot the tuition starts at 8am but the 2 dumb dumb went vista point to have breakfast first.

ok. after the e.math tuition went home first,clean up the room, geri will be coming over first.
we chat, crap and laugh like hell as usual.
until elaine and alicia arrived. the crazy moment marks the start of all the crazy things we do.
watch THE L WORDS first. then we began to drink. no mercy but i didnt drink much compare to elaine. she's was totally crazy.
blast music, suddenly my room turns in to a pub.
around 7.30pm, geri left first. mum sent alicia home.
me and elaine was so drunk. i vomited twice and elaine slept in the toilet.
so drunk, she stayed over at my house. that girl is making hell lotsa noise when she sleeps.
woke up at 9am++ in the morning. i make tea for elaine cause she's having a realli bad headaches. she mix her wine with the 40% ++ alcohol. no wonder she's feeling so bad!
=))

2007-06-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

ELLIOT YAMI - WAIT FOR YOU(LYRICS)

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,

Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
[Bridge]

So why does your pride
make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy
(crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the sameI just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint trueI really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

Chorus]

Baby I will wait for youCause
I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting.

2007-06-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

quote "it all begin with a "hello" & ends with a "goodbye"
-NDS
its inspiring.

things that amelie loves to do-
watching at people's expression in the cinema
cracking pies
skipping stones
figuring how must people were having organism

things that siewlin loves to do-
walking aimlessly
long bus journey(168 858 960 161 961 27)
her mp3
emo( classroom, hut, changi airport, library, beaches)
keeping real quiet somedays.

both amelie and siewlin are weird. i see the other side of me in her.
we are both cowards, now and forever we will be.
what's wrong with that. god makes us and the world needs someone like us to make sure that those courage stood up from the rest.
maybe this is how heroes are make and why civilians were tied down to their fate.
recarnation after recarnation.from burning ashes to human beings.

2007-06-04T02:25:00.000-07:00

second post of the day.
i feel like posting this flow, after i'hv read someone's blog.
its heartbreaking, i don't know if that person posting that blog have any idea how i'm feeling right now.
weather if its directed to me or any other things in that person's life.
it's heartbreaking, you got me right in the gap.

2007-06-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

alright guys, i have no idea how u will rate my taste and the phone.

but i'm realli crazy about this phone, its all over me!

W660i is currently under "coming soon" label. but i'm gonna wait for this....if i have the patient.

lets talk about today. english lesson was a nightmare for me.

so after english, me alicia sean fadhil larris and nasri decided to skip the ss lesson and proceed on to our favourite hobby. hang around at vist point's kopitiam first. we're all like ah pek and ah ma sitting there watching chinese drama.

after which, nas and fad left and the four of us walk to cwp to catch "blades of glory". but before the show, i accompany larris to have his ears pierce. this guy nearly chicken out, kept asking the same old question over and over again

larris: is it painful or not?

me: no lah!! only after that then you'll feel the pain.

larris: LIAR! where got no pain one.

me: wa lao eh, just go in and pierce, once and for all.

larris: WAIT...let's take a look at the watches first

he had his ears pierce only after leaving numerous marker marks on his ears.

larris join us for movie but alicia didnt tag along cause she have to wait for her sister. i seriously wanna say its a shame.

both me and sean don't wanna leave her just like that.

especially sean who said " i kept asking her to come along eh"

the movie was so damn funny, every single part of it was funny. i laugh realli loud but not the loudest cause sean and larris drowned my voice.

after the movie, me , sean and larris went to take a look at hp. they kept talking and talking. soon, we went home.

reach home, got change and went out straight with sis to meet mum.

we had KFC for lunch. the new product " miso crunch".

OMG! they taste like crap, a waste of money!

alright! this is it!

2007-06-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

Look at my heart again
Look at the mess
I've got it in
I'm trying to trust in You
To know that you'll see me through
Through my pride
Through my shame
Into Your love
Into Your grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see Your face
And I'm running straight to You
Because

All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
To break this division
All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
Erase it and bring us together again

My life's like an open book
Nothing is hidden when you look
You break through my boundaries
Revealing my insecurities
But through my pride
And through my shame
You show me love
You show me grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see your faceAnd I'm running straight to you
Because

Here I am
saying I need you
I know I need you
Here I am,
I'm coming to meet you
Cause I want to see you

2007-06-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY~~
ok. i forget what happened in the morning.
recollection. we'hv doen some practical and i'm way behind time. didnt comple the practical on time. if that day was to be the exam day itself, i'm doom! meet dajie up after the practical. chit chat with her abt stuff.
went home. had a tiff with my sister. she's such an asshole, i don't wanna look at her face for another second. get change and off i went out alone.
took 168. i love this bus to BITS!
emo all the way, decided to alight at ikea. can anyone believe i do my shopping down there! i guess i'm the onli teenager down there.
carry the big yellow bag they provided to put my stuff in there. brought lotsa stuff and there's alot more i wanna buy.
the stuff in there kept staring at me as if i'm gonna steal some crap out of the f**king gigantic furniture store.
this is how i end my day. emo back home!

TODAY!
basically, i did nth today. one good news for me. daddy gonna buy me a new hp tml. he took my hp and left me with none.
so sorry guys, i cant reply or answer any of your messages.
sat drinking wine with that girl, she's always beside me but i seldom notice her until today.
everyone has a story to tell.nevertheless when it comes to her.
surprisingly, i held my liqour quite well today.
listen quietly when she tell her story. her eyes was watery but she kept fighting back tears.
surprisingly, i didnt cry with her. guess i'm left with no more tears.
thump's up for her. a small secret behind the back of our mind.
i'm so proud of you and so ashame of myself.
i'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

2007-05-31T03:31:00.000-07:00

" sing, as if there's no one around.
love, as if you werent hurt before and will not
work, as if you werent paid for
live, as if there's no tomorrow"

i such a good girl today, in fact i am.
didnt join dajie and alicia for shopping. cause i'm down with fever again.
i realli love to join them, i wanna buy clutch, i wanna buy long sleeve collar top.
just how many times in a month i'hv fall sick.
am i dying soon....guess, it must be lack of exercising.
so i gotta go swimming when i recover.
ENJOY GIRLS!
ps. "I STILL DO"

2007-05-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

" geri, alicia and siewlin, nv be apart no matter what"
the greatest confide i can have,
insearch of further comfort and security,
they come alive.
THANK YOU.
life isnt complete without the 2 of you.
I LOVE YOU(S)

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.....
meet up alicia in the morning. saw larris and ds but doubt he notice us.
everyone was already in the lab, we were late.
while doing the practical, can i said....i'hv come to my senses.
self-experiencing and hearsay' from other sources are two totally different things.
so siewlin, dun overestimate things cause the changes can be so drastic, you wun be able to take it.
take what you need and measure to only what you're capable in.
during physics lesson, tried my best to understand what's going on. get into the mood as soon as i can.
keep playing with larris. he's one odd guy i may say.
he refused to stop disturbing me even though i pinch his stomach so hard, he turned speechless. but still refuse to give up, he still insist on shining the torchlight right in my face! SIAO!

after that. me, elaine and alicia went to viva for lunch.
called dad up cause he reach home. "welcome to singapore" thats' my first sentence for him. chat on the phone with him for awhile. I LOVE HIM! elaine left first cause his daddy too, came back from KL. she's off to meet him. chat with alicia. and we happened to see sean on our way back. he cross the road as if he's father owns it. HAHA!
chit chat with him and he sent me home along with alicia! thanks both of you.
daddy brought loads and loads of chocolate and wine too.
reserve one bottle for geri and alicia for our gathering. lets get drunk.
chit chat with daddy, talking non-stop, it feels realli good with him at home. mum reach hm from work and we're off for family day.
dad had a great haircut.
hey! why am i so short. beg him to buy the grey jeans for me and he agree. but DAMN! I dun look nice in it. mum just kept shaking her head!
ok. thats about it!

2007-05-29T04:43:00.000-07:00

today is a totally fantastic day!

meet up with cia in the morning. just as we were about to walk towards that dead room, we saw nas, mizan, izzul and one more i cant rmb liao, waving to us and walking towards the school gate at the same time.
didnt ask much, they just tell us to tag along for breakfast!
so we did. saw kc and larris on the way there. and they join us too.
soon after that sean, ds, insane, yiling and elaine join us!

as expected, miss chia blow her top when we arrive late. but we dun care less. DAMN EECHONG! i almost fell down in the library, bang my ass against the corner of the table. IT HURTS MAN! all his fault...

after english come chemistry. after chemistry come FOOD EXPO!
rush down to admiraty mrt to meet up with geri and her mum.
as usual, was damn happy to meet her up. chit chat and laughter all over the place, nvm miss out mockery.(GOSH, RETRIBUTION WOULD FALL UPON ME IN NO TIME)
as i said, "the journey will never be long if you travel with a good frined"
we reach expo faster than i expected.
me and elaine were so hungry that we almost eat up all the food.
eat and eat and eat and eat! all kinds of food.
worship me and dajie pls. thinking back now. cant believe we do such things. things that we do:
1) bullying a small boy who is hardly 7 years old
2)laughing at aunties who talk loudly
3)sample all the food as if it belongs to us (criticise store that didnt provide sample...softly)
4) eat so much as if we didnt eat for days
5)fooling and playing around

but i really enjoy the day! love it loads!
gotta go exercise after it liao, getting fatter and fatter!
OMG.....

2007-05-28T03:34:00.000-07:00

ARGH! DADDY COME BACK FASTER PLS!
I MISS YOU DAMN LOTS. YOU AND MY FINACIAL SUPPORT!

i am really in need of cash, i really need to go shopping,
i really wanna fix my guitar and learn all the note.
i really feel like working. i really wanna scream my lung out.
i really wanna do well in my studies. i really need to cut down on my playtime. i really wanna go tokyo for MCR concert. (one and only in asia, but its impossible)

Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!

cut all those crap out. i'm taking O lvl chinese today. managable, i may say. still within what i can do, so it aint that bad so far.
after exam, dajie sms me, called me 4 times. scare the shit out of me. i thought what bad is happening, but in the end it was
geri: "hey, exam finish liao ar? wanna come bugis?"
seriously i love to tag along, but circumstances really got me tangled. F**K!
alicia had to attend her "extra lesson", so me and elaine wait for her.
me and elaine was kinda lame. this was what we do, we didnt talk at all,
not even a word. i was buzing into the air, singing songs, emo. then she went walking around the sch.
everyone thinks i'm crazy cause i was singing alone. everyone thinks she was crazy cause she was walking aimlessly around the sch.
HAHA!

2007-05-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

alright! lets talk about ytd...

sat-
meet up with yiling and cia. yeps. i know yiling won't be reading my blog.
but i have to say sorry....
we're having chinese intensive, wasnt really listening, not in the mood.
so i listen to my mp3 instead.
after chinese, join eechong and ds for movies.
pirates of the carribean...erm. i rate the show ok.
wasnt as nice as the previous one. timeframe is kinda long so at times it seem kinda boring.
one thing! captain jack is sooo COOL!
we actually ate mac in the theatre, OMG! didnt realli dare to shake the fries at first...cause it was kinda disturbing. but after seeing ds shaking it so happily. HAHA!
i took the load off my mind!
btw, eeching is such a freak!! everyone was staring at him as if he was some kinda of alien.
so i tell him " sometime, being normal is a bliss"
HAHA!

today-
woke up late today. didnt feel like waking up so i just contiune to sleep.
went out in the afteroon to meet mum. ate lunch and off to buy whatever i need for tml's exam.
gotta set my best foot in front. some goes to all my friends out there!
dad is cuming back soon. miss him loads!
loking forward to tuesdays!

PS: dajie, same goes to you, ur chest will rot if u dun get the load off it!
and and beeped me anytime for the drinking section! loveya!

2007-05-26T01:10:00.000-07:00

what's wrong with everything.
what's wrong with you.
what's that expression on your face trying to reflect.
you said speak out, you wanted to throw words at my face.
go ahead...what's stopping you.
maybe i'll feel a little bit better.
stop dazing in air, stop confusing yourself, stop telling lies.
trying to get everything off my chest,
hopefully thing would get better.
but that's my own thinking all along.
all along i'm the weakest one,
all along my lying to myself,
all along i'm blind-folding myself.
I'M JUST TRYING TO PUT UP A SHOW.

hang me upside down, i just wanna fell the rush of my blood.
i just wanna pop a vein.

2007-05-23T04:02:00.000-07:00

raise up your right hand and say "YES, I'M ALRIGHT"

chinese intensive again. am i studying in a pure chinese school??
"yes, i am" for once and for all. this is the last time i'm gonna take chinese. give in your best shot, guys!

a great day today. at least something different.
after chinese intensive, went straight to geri dajie's house!
we are holding an ABC meeting. they are foods, drinks and....wenzi!!!
i got lumps all over my leg, but mine is nth compared to alicia's one!
but thinking back....alicia granny....is that realli one??
we got serious talks, joke and everything. it was really fun. when was the last time we held such a meeting . craving for beers man, but cant.
i accidentally let out a disgusting burp....geri and alicia fainted! what a big reaction....
geri's mum returned with bubble teas and pizza bread. thanks!!
left her house at about 5.30pm.
alicia ah po talk to me about the unintended unfaithful act. the consequences about it and how it stinks one's reputation. in a whole we are talking abt this the whole day.

alright!....thats about it.

2007-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is expected when everyday seems to be the same!

alright....basically i'm living a life like that now. chinese intensive.
but something different on friday.
chinese intensive all day, until wong laoshi release us for some great 2 hrs break.went cwp for break and sean join us.
idle around foodcourt, eating and chatting until we forget the time.
haha! the holick volcano ice is so damn nice!
i wanna drink again!
ok....when we chat, it feels like a long lose friend gathering talking abt life and what's gonna happened next...
its great lah. after chinese intensive, went to watch the soccer match in school. its our class against other team. i think we won lah! thought i didnt finish watching it!

today :
wait up so late today. wash up and i'm off to mit kah chee.
he's late, so i gotta wait for a while!kept disturbing him and talking non-stop. things are getting better and better.
but there are some things that are left untouch for good.
no one rank it up, we just treasure what is right in front of us, thought it's hanging by a thread.
finally i get to watch movie! catch spiderman 3
erm...a great show generally but the duration is a bit too long.
i just cant believe what i'm seeing, its funny lah!
the couple sitting beside us is.....erm....guys i think we all know it well, what they are up to! but cant they just do it at home! it cause disturbance ok!
after the movie, he sent me home. thanks for everything and thanks for today.

- no matter what happened, i know what i'm thinking, the 3 words are just directed to you only.

2007-05-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

ARGH!
i'm goin insane, totally crazy. no doubt about it!
the ear-piercing cacophony kept resounding in my head.
alright.... finish venting my anger.
lets talk in brief detail abt my story today.
basically, i have a taste of what chinese intensive is like.
i'm starting to avoid eyes contact with him.
i knew he notice it.... just that he choose to remain speechless.
suddenly, i felt confident about my chinese. now my english is falling. but i'll do anything i can to keep my english in a statisfactory standard!
read read read from now on!
he's getting more and more skinny.
cant stop worrying abt him, just where and which position do i stand to tell him to eat and do whatever things i tell him to do. when i don't even give a shit abt anything he tell me to do.
good lah siewlin, u have a taste of it yourself. serve you right.
dont you cry begging him to come back to you when comes a day.
btw! steal larris ear-piece home. erm....in a whole. its not a great one compared to sean's one. but better than mine.
ipod can project sound system very well, but its not user friendly. however, if given a chance again. i think i would go for ipod nano.
OKOK! that's me....never satisfied with what i have!
changing blog song soon!

2007-05-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

news of the day....
didnt went to sch today, so its a one day break for me.
went to the doctor ytd, i'm dying, completely worn out.
didnt eat anything at all, just kept vomitting and vomitting.
rush to the toilet almost a thousand time.
finally, its my turn and the doctor said my gastric was the cause of it. and guys! its so bloody painful you can die, so dun ever skip meal!
alright! cut to the chase, alicia msg me this morning breaking the news to me.
i flunk my english! congratulation~~ this means i didnt make it at all if this was to be o' lvl.
2nd piece of great news, i flunk my chem paper! congratulation also. this is one of my potiential subs, that hopefully can help me score. and i'hv thrown it away.
i'm really really really feeling veri well-prepared to face the MUSIC. whatever music, jazz, hardcore, metal, dead-metal, hardrock, punk rock or emo rock!
i'm all down and on to it!
i didnt regret not putting enough effort in it, but somehow its like a wake up call to me.
i dun wanna end up flying kites
so rock on, siewlin. put your best foot forward in the last shot!

2007-05-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

finally, the long weekend had ended.
OH SHIT! i really really really dont feel like goin back to school tml.
words cant express my fear inside, just how bad i'm gonna score for all the crappy subjects.
OH LORD....can someone save me. for once i wont wish for turning back time. cause i know even if someone is to grant me such a wish. i wont do well either.
this is what meant to be. and i wont say things like...i'll try my best next time or anything else.
its such a turn off whenever i think of it.
lets change subs....what is intensive chinese btw. what has it gonna do with improving chinese when chinese is something like english where u have to practise constantly. make it part of your everyday life.
wouldnt it be too late to start now....
i dont know. just take what it goes.....
just where did my motivation go! where is my sense of urgency?
it's all gone now.

2007-05-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

dissapear, reappearing, dissapear and reappearing.
happy, sad, happy and sad
didnt blog these few days....it was CRUEL BORED.
many things happened, change my life, changes other peoples life.
mid-year exam was a total demoralising issue or a really hard wake up call. slam it in your face, look at what kinda crap you have wrote in between the line.
anyway, i'm prepared to face the music from hell.

lets change the subjects, ytd was desheng's birthday!
its was cool...
first dajie cum my house and then we went out tgt meet up with desheng, eechong and mk.
press ahead our progress, we went marina square for bowling and pool.
alright, from then on, i can assure myself. i'm just not cut out for bowling! i'm totally suck in it, ZERO TALENT!
but its nice of them to keep encouraging me, teach me those technique and lastly patient with me.
after bowling we went for pool. didnt play, only after ds tald me he can tahena anymore. he's really sick, but didnt realli wanna show it so as not to spoil the celebration! after pool, went ahead to sit at the staircase, took lotsa pics. lotsa laughter. i was wondering....maybe i shouldnt have said these. would i behave like this if kc was to join us....
guiping arrived! we dine in seoul garden. this is when the hell of my day start. eechong and me decided to have this stupid race. basically, who ever ate the most vegetable wins the challenge. i thought i would win, gosh!
i really wanna give up, but i didnt! in the end, vomit twice... my image was totally gone. make up smeared all over my face. gotta re-touchup.
these was not the worse of all lah!
did something really ridiculous with eechong in the train. OMG! i really regretted doing it the moment i woke up just now rethinking what i did ytd! i didnt have any alcohol in the first place....so why is this happening!
nvm....that guy is no more than crazy, he's almost insane!
guess i went off track, reach home at 10plus. daddy must be angry! nvm, guess these would be the last time i'm going out after i got back my report card.

2007-05-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

what happened? did someone took away my second soul. someone took my heart away. i knew this very well. i'm cold-blooded. am i really one. or i'm just pretending to be one.

2007-04-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

hey guys...
i'm back again, reblogging once again, updating craps on my life once again.
reminiscences are silent killer. it attacks me and how i miss those days when i stay late at night engraving memories silently in here.
at least there's something for me to be dependent on, to express my feelings and thoughts free-flowingly. the urges was sharpen when i visit some of my dear friend's blogs. hope everything is on the right track for them.